Morty: O-okay, cool. (they take off, running in complete and total fear as the monster chases them) Here's your tome of dragon spells and lore. Wait, what am I celebrating? Rick: You got to be careful, Morty. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal? over the years, The shows become more and more cinematic you look at that first season. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's. Watch Rick and Morty Reenact a Crazy Georgia Court Case Back in June, a hilarious court transcript started making the rounds online. I built it outta stuff I found in the garage. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. [Open Morty’s room] (Morty is asleep in his bed when Rick stumbles in, obviously really drunk, and turns on the lights.) All day long, forever. STRIKE ONE. (Morty falls into a dream world filled with large number-shaped blocks; Jessica steps out from behind some of the numbers) Then the—then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. (Beth adjusts the organs again) Chachi. Rick: (Rick lands the cruiser in an open desert; he opens the door and tumbles out among dozens of empty alcohol cans and bottles) We'll park it right here, Morty. (The beeping from the medical equipment speeds up) Rick: I-I get what you're trying to say, Morty. (grabs Morty and they run through security and dart for the exit) morty. Rick: Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi. and wipes food from his face) I told you not to practice-kiss the living room Jerry: Morty, stay out of this. Rick and Morty Transcripts. I don't respect them. Okay. Please, Morty. Morty, relax. Summer: Hi, Frank. He needs to keep hanging out and helping me. (in real life, class has ended and Morty is fondling Mr. Goldenfold) Beth: Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop. Summer!...I hereby bind this noble serpent and rider at the soul. What is this on the floor? It's time for the quiz. Adult Swim Transcripts. Hnngh! There were a lot of attractive women there, Morty, and they-they-they— they all wanted time with me. My name is David Marshall. Morty: In my butt? Jerry: I'm an angry father, not an improviser. And for good reason: Independent animator Tiarawhy is a big enough fan of the show to have spent two months turning the original drawings into what you see here. Maybe something about your mother. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. A-alright, Rick. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once. Rick: There she is. Adult Cartoon Transcripts. I I did look at it, Rick! A few months ago, a federal inmate accused of murder appeared in court on a motion to fire his public defender. W-what are we gonna do? WE CAN HEAR THE BEEPS! Morty: Wow. We got to get out of here. Morty: Ohhhhhh! RICK : I don’t know, maybe you matter so little that I like you. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, Morty up, down, below, turn around to the left. Just you and me, and sometimes your sister, and sometimes your mom, but NEVER your dad! ‘Rick And Morty’s Re-enactment Of America’s Most Bonkers Court Transcript Gets An Amazing Fan Animation Caleb Reading Twitter Entertainment Editor October 6, 2016 Morty: Jessica. Jerry: Well, it's lunch. Say no? Other Gromflomite: Glenn's bleeding to death! It’s seemingly been a long wait for the return of Rick And Morty to the airwaves as fans are chomping at the bit to find out the fate of everyone’s favorite mad scientist. (the portal opens up in the lunchroom at school and Rick and Morty land on the table where Jessica and her friends are eating) Robot Voice: Arming neutrino bomb. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. (Rick and Morty are stopped by Jerry, Beth, and Principal Vagina) Jerry: Oh, look, honey. Morty: Aw, geez, dad. I'm late to class, bitch! Jerry, get a job. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » R » Rick and Morty 02x08 - Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate. (he tosses Morty a gun) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ This is bad, Rick. (Morty shoots a Glenn, blowing his leg off, and making blood gush out as he drops down in pain) Look at that thing right there. Rick: Morty. I mean, you know, y-you kind of had things handled without it. Big tough guy all of a sudden. But he has to keep going to school. Okay, yeah, this might be a little harder than I thought. Morty: Ooh! Run! You really made the crap out of those eggs. He's too smart for school. Gaia: Rick. (losing consciousness) Oh, geez! These things really bring it all together. I wonder if you and Morty's father might be able to have a chat with me this afternoon? I froze him. Transcripts » TV Show Transcripts » Q-R » Rick and Morty Script view. There's nothing more noble and free than the heart of a horse. Rick and Morty Transcript. Morty: Oh, man. No! Rick: Why does he have to go over there? Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity. You'll thank me later. Jerry: (coughs) Ahem, Horse heart surgeon. L-let's give this a shot. I'll land. Rick and Morty Transcript. The hearing quickly spiraled out of control, with the defendant calling the judge a “fuckman” and claiming to have “a big old donkey dick.” The resulting transcript is possibly the funniest court document ever. Rick: (having apparently escaped, they are walking through Dimension 35-C, continuing their adventure) Oh, Morty, take a deep breath. Rick: Okay, Jerry. ugh. Rick: You little son of a bitch! Justin Roiland had a surprise treat for Rick and Morty fans at San Diego Comic-Con this weekend.